The MT Alternative Podcast
Satire, an alternative views of current events ,Adult themes
The MT Alternative Podcast
Same Chaos New Season
Ladies and gentlemen, weary travelers of the internet and that one guy who's still trying to find the skip intro button, welcome back. Intro button, welcome back. That's right. Despite budget cuts, public outcry and several cease and desist letters, the MT Alternative Podcast has somehow clawed its way back for season two. Now, for those of you who survived season one, first off, congratulations. You've endured more nonsense than a congressional hearing. And for the newcomers, buckle up. This is the show where our two fearless, semi-qualified hosts, mike and Tom, dive headfirst into the world's biggest questions, armed only with dubious research, strong opinions and just enough common sense to keep us from getting sued. So what's in store for season two? Will Mike finally admit he was wrong about that thing? From episode four, will Tom learn how to fact check before recording? Will we at any point attempt professionalism Spoiler? No, all of that and more coming up. So sit back, lower your expectations and prepare for another season of the mt alternative podcast. And if you're listening to this at work, just nod like you're in a serious meeting. We won't tell.
Speaker 3:I mean literally almost every day lately, yeah, and that's why we haven't been on for a little bit. Yeah.
Speaker 4:It's like a roller coaster at work. I mean, one day, one week, you're wide open and don't have time to do anything, and then the next week you're twiddling your thumb.
Speaker 3:So we do have quite a bit to talk about.
Speaker 4:Yeah, since it's been a while.
Speaker 3:Yeah, things have happened. Wow, lots of things. We have lots of topics and the football season kind of sucked for me.
Speaker 4:You guys made the playoffs. That's a big difference from last year. We were only supposed to win five games.
Speaker 3:We won ten and we beat the mighty Kansas City Chiefs. We won four.
Speaker 4:And we beat the mighty Kansas.
Speaker 3:City Chiefs. We were supposed to win six games, we won four. But there is hope for next season.
Speaker 4:There's always next season.
Speaker 3:Sucks. See, as a Patriot fan, people are going to say, oh, you had 20 seasons. I was a Patriot fan before this, so I sat through shitty-ass seasons.
Speaker 4:I sat through the 1-15, 2-14, broad rust era From 1977 with the Broncos. The 90s were our best seasons.
Speaker 3:So I kind of get it on that. But hey, looking forward, we've got a new coach, so things are going to hopefully look a little better. We'll see how the draft goes.
Speaker 4:We went from number one to number four. And now there's teams that's never really been that kind of showed up this year.
Speaker 3:It was exciting. Daniels from Washington, that rookie quarterback, pretty impressive. I mean kudos to them. They made it right to the NFC championship game. Kansas City and the refs.
Speaker 4:Yeah, the Kansas City refs.
Speaker 3:Yeah, all hail Patrick Mahomes.
Speaker 4:Let's make this clear they are not a Kansas team. They are from Missouri.
Speaker 3:You want to make sure you stress that I do.
Speaker 4:Okay, only greatness comes from Kansas. Right, right, you travel across the river. There's junk steel mills, they're all them, steel yards and everything, and if you've ever been, the city of st louis. There's nothing that great either yeah, st louis is different than kansas city yeah, but my point is missouri yeah once you cross that bridge in kansas city.
Speaker 4:When you're going from Kansas City Kansas, which is all nice homes and businesses and everything and you cross that river, it becomes a big iron graveyard. I mean, it's nothing but iron and metal and junk everywhere Factories. It looks awful. Do you know where the stadiums are in this area? Nothing but iron and metal and junk everywhere, factories.
Speaker 3:It looks awful, and this is where the stadiums are in this area.
Speaker 4:Well, it's on through. You've got to go on kind of outskirt-ish to get to the stadiums. But yeah, both stadiums are side-by-side the Royals and the Chiefs. Okay, but technically they are Missouri teams.
Speaker 3:I knew that, but well, didn't know about it. I didn't know there was a Kansas City Kansas.
Speaker 4:Yeah, that river separates the states. That's what blew my mind, yeah.
Speaker 3:But anyways, let's see what else we have. Our president sitting now, yeah yeah, still trying to screw over.
Speaker 4:Yeah, they won't quit. I mean, it's like Not to get too deep, but it's like God Can't beat him, so they're going to beat him up.
Speaker 3:Yeah, there you go. So whatever Well whatever they're doing isn't really working.
Speaker 4:No, it isn't. And the wildfires.
Speaker 3:Wildfires, let's see. We had no, it isn't and the wildfires, Wildfires. Let's see. We had the hurricanes this past fall. We had the wildfires.
Speaker 4:We had wildfires in North Carolina and the mountains again Same place.
Speaker 3:They got hammered with Helena. I mean not as big as the fires in California.
Speaker 4:But you know, think about it.
Speaker 3:All this yeah.
Speaker 4:People are already homeless Planes crashing.
Speaker 3:Now this has been bugging me. I keep seeing this. A missile hit in Pennsylvania People. There's a wing with a light flashing as the plane's coming down. Pilots are known to go straight down Nosedive. Now, if you're nosediving, it's not just going to float down like a piece of paper either.
Speaker 4:We're talking a jet. Yeah, it doesn't float, they're a jet.
Speaker 3:We're talking a jet, yeah, a jet, correct, it doesn't float A jet.
Speaker 4:Yeah, I mean, they're traveling at a high speed. I mean, it really is the whole thing sucks.
Speaker 3:I mean the worst part about the whole.
Speaker 4:Thing.
Speaker 3:Geez, all this weird stuff.
Speaker 4:A girl that has beaten the odds of cancer Right Died senselessly in a crash.
Speaker 3:I mean there's just lots to talk about. Lots going on, that's for sure. I mean, yeah, geez, but miss a little, miss a lot at times.
Speaker 4:Yeah, it's wide open now.
Speaker 3:Work's been killer.
Speaker 4:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3:Got stuff coming in. Don't know where it's going.
Speaker 4:Yeah, we got stuff everywhere. I have never seen a company who could put 16 pounds of crap in a two-pound bag.
Speaker 3:But they're sure as hell trying, aren't they?
Speaker 4:Yeah, oh, but.
Speaker 3:Let us reconfigure.
Speaker 4:Yeah, because, see, I was all safe and everything. And thinking I was like what are we going to do? But now I'm calm because I saw the leader of the maintenance crew.
Speaker 3:Right.
Speaker 4:Out on the floor measuring.
Speaker 3:Well, they're going to get a building stretcher.
Speaker 4:That's what they're looking for oh, are they looking to buy one of those?
Speaker 3:Stretch the building.
Speaker 4:I have a friend that went into those. He probably could give them a good deal.
Speaker 3:With the big tape measures.
Speaker 4:I'll tell you.
Speaker 3:Let's be honest. Do you think anything's going to be done within the next six months to a year? They measured, that's it, it's done.
Speaker 4:Yeah, they're out on the floor to be seen.
Speaker 3:Well, let's tear this all apart now while you get all this crap on the floor. So you really have no room.
Speaker 4:Yeah, there's. It's almost like a pizza party for a bonus. We're sitting on a mountain of money.
Speaker 3:You know, here's some pizza, thank you, I was kind of like pissed off about that whole situation until I found out, lisa was the one that bought all those.
Speaker 4:She purchased those herself, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3:That's so, of course. Yeah, I felt guilty, but now it's more appreciated that someone did, but well, that just shows you how cheap the company makes.
Speaker 4:It's like teachers. School teachers are the same way, Mike.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 4:These poor teachers are out there on a budget. Their classroom is barely enough to you know. Keep up. Yeah, I understand.
Speaker 3:But they buy a lot of stuff. Let's back up Teachers. Have an awesome union too.
Speaker 4:They do. Now I do agree.
Speaker 3:And I hate to say this, but most of them are pretty much leftists. They are so you know what you voted, the way you did. This is how it goes.
Speaker 4:Yep, yep, I'm sorry, but it still doesn't make sense.
Speaker 3:Let's realize what kind of people are teaching these kids nowadays. These aren't your normal people. These aren't teachers of the old days. I didn't know my teacher's sexual orientation when I was in school. That wasn't discussed.
Speaker 4:We discussed this in an earlier podcast about my last teacher, but it just brings back up all this.
Speaker 3:But have you noticed Things are starting to drift back the other way. A little more normalcy.
Speaker 4:A little bit, but here's what I get. I mean, I understand that they voted that way and everything. Here's what gets me, though All of the states that have passed this educational lottery. Where's all that money going, yeah? That money going. There's no reason that anybody in the public school system should have any wants or needs With as much money. Do research. How much money do you think a state is pulling down in lottery tickets?
Speaker 3:I have no idea.
Speaker 4:And the states that have legalized cannabis. They're way ahead of the game.
Speaker 3:Well, some states do it better than others. Look at California. They've been legal in there and where's all that money going?
Speaker 4:Yeah, well, we've seen where that money's going.
Speaker 3:They pretty much shit on everybody.
Speaker 4:We see where that money's going to. The high class Yep. Political people Look at what's-his-face. Newsom.
Speaker 3:He's going to the high class.
Speaker 4:Yep.
Speaker 3:Political people. What's his face? Newsome spends more money on a hair gel.
Speaker 4:Exactly.
Speaker 3:He's a phony.
Speaker 4:He's a big phony.
Speaker 3:He really is. A nut job.
Speaker 4:But uh, yeah, I just think it's interesting to see all this stuff out there and the rabbit holes and stuff you go down. Oh, if you add up this date when this thing happened at 9-11, when you go up there, when you fold a dollar this way, it's got this. Yeah, those things happen.
Speaker 3:Some things I can kind of go with, like back to 9-11. I'm at the BBC. Here's another thing I ended up finding out, and it's true because you go back on tape. Bbc said Tower 7 has fallen. The lady's saying that Tower 7's right behind her. Not until a half hour later, tower 7 fell.
Speaker 4:Huh.
Speaker 3:I have to show you this after this clip.
Speaker 4:That's crazy. I don't want to pause right now.
Speaker 3:But this is another rabbit, these rabbit holes we got and going back to 9-11, because you brought it up, firemen heard what do they call the when they're blowing something up, when they literally?
Speaker 4:there's a controlled.
Speaker 3:It's that pop, pop, pop as things go up. That's what they heard in one of those towers. Yeah, how do something go? How do they come down straight? Yeah, because when you're demolishing something, that's what it's meant to do the whole building falls upon itself this is where I always had a problem with it?
Speaker 4:how does a?
Speaker 3:building burn like that all steel, so it just perfectly comes right down straight ok, let's take jet fuel.
Speaker 4:Jet fuel is supposedly burns the hottest at any fuel. Okay, I also know someone whose vehicle is with jet fuel. There was still a frame there. There was still a.
Speaker 3:Just a whole building went down because of it too. Yeah, no, well, it melted the steel, not all the way down, it did Not all the way down. Yes, I melted the steel, not all the way down, it did Not all the way down. Yes, I understand the problem. Wait, I could see building falling this way. Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 4:I don't see. And once again there's that. You know who's right, who's wrong.
Speaker 3:Right.
Speaker 4:Let's not confuse this, okay. Everybody says well, when we had to wear a mask and the mandate came out, we had to wear a mask and this and that. Well, now everybody's like, well, they were wrong. No, they were not wrong, they lied to us the whole time. They weren't wrong, they lied.
Speaker 3:It was a test to see if the little minions would follow along.
Speaker 4:I saw an awesome little clip this morning About Brooks and or not Big and Rich, the country group Big and Rich. One of them's passed away, Brad, I don't know which one.
Speaker 2:I did not know this.
Speaker 4:Yeah, I don't keep up with.
Speaker 2:Big and.
Speaker 4:Rich, but one of them's passed on and the other one's still alive. But when COVID went out, school was going to go back into session but kids had to wear a mask. So he looked it up on the CDC and the mask, the definition. It is an exploratory thing to see if it will stop. It's not proven, okay.
Speaker 3:Right.
Speaker 4:So it's. I don't know what is the word I'm looking for. When they're doing experimental, it's an experimental thing, okay. So, first off, there's this bill of rights of some sort. He explained, and please, guys, I'm paraphrasing.
Speaker 3:We do the best we can.
Speaker 4:But if you look up Rich's interview about masks, it'll show this. Okay he's talking about. He went on this other line and the CDC says that it's an experimental thing a mask. So he said he sent this thing to where my children are coming back to school but they're not going to be wearing masks, because this code that is listed here says that you cannot force people to take experimental things. You cannot force another human being to do something experimental. You can't. And they're trying to force everybody to wear these masks, which their CDC website says and states that it's experimental. So he put all that and he won. So he didn't have, his kids didn't have to wear masks. Look that up, guys.
Speaker 3:I butchered, thatered that probably yeah, there was a bunch of stuff. Like I said, people can look it up themselves if they have doubts yep, but it was interesting, I just seen it this morning. Like well, like we said when we first started today, it's been a lot to talk about. Uh, I guess we get the boys, little dudes, coming in later.
Speaker 4:Yeah, some rant about some little mascots. Usually I look down on that and everything like oh no, not them again. But you know I haven't heard from them in a while, so I'm kind of excited to see.
Speaker 3:They've been under the radar. I have no idea what they've been doing.
Speaker 4:Yeah, see, they're very secretive.
Speaker 3:I have no idea what they've been doing. Yeah, see, they're very secretive. I have heard rumors they're pissed off about some breakfast mascots or some cookie mascots of some sort. Something happened. That's a rumor. I don't know how true it is.
Speaker 4:Figure that one out.
Speaker 3:We'll see what happens when they come in.
Speaker 4:So there stay tuned. They're coming up in a little bit. Let's see. See other news. What?
Speaker 3:do we got here? Oh, look at this. What do we got here, tom? Okay, we will find you and we will kill you. Trump announces launch on an overseas attack. Who's we going after here?
Speaker 4:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Ah, senior ISIS, there you go. Air strikes on the senior ISIS attack planner and other terrorists. I say go for it. Yeah let's go get them. This is what a real president does. Doesn't take no shit.
Speaker 4:Yep, let's seek and destroy our problems.
Speaker 3:Now I noticed, gas prices have popped up a little bit too. I expected some things. But why are people saying eggs are 10 bucks? I mean, eggs are expensive, notice. Gas prices have popped up a little bit too.
Speaker 4:I expected some things, but why are people saying eggs are $10? I mean, eggs are expensive. I saw $5, $6. 18 eggs $6.12.
Speaker 3:Okay, that's still not bad what everybody's saying. They're saying right, doesn't egg 10 bucks 10 bucks.
Speaker 4:I haven't seen a dollar, but a dozen eggs the eggs went up before he actually came sitting sure they did exactly why bird flu?
Speaker 3:oh yeah, bird how come all the chickens that they made him kill.
Speaker 4:Remember all that yeah, here's what I don't get. How come it only affects chickens?
Speaker 3:He has an ostrich farm Right. There's nothing wrong with the ostrich. They want to come in and kill all his 400 ostriches. Because of that. It's like there's nothing wrong with mine. No, we want it.
Speaker 4:It's like, and they got it, We'll look this up while we're sitting and talking Because that's another interesting story Since you brought up bird flu. Okay, here's the other thing. You think bears and deer and possums, raccoons do you think any of those ever get gas indigestion?
Speaker 3:I'm sure they do, Tom.
Speaker 4:I guess they fart every once in a while. Where are you heading with this? How come?
Speaker 3:cows are the only one destroying our environment by their gas. I'm sure they do, Tom. I guess they fart every once in a while.
Speaker 4:Where are you heading with this? Well, I'm headed. How come cows are the only one destroying our environment by their gas? What's up with that?
Speaker 3:I have no idea.
Speaker 4:These are things that make you go huh.
Speaker 3:Yeah, well, as we do, excuse me.
Speaker 4:Kind of like the NFL trying to sell food. What's Jerry Rice? Jerry's eating rice. They just make me think different things.
Speaker 3:Now what that commercial again?
Speaker 4:Yeah, that commercial, but I mean seriously. Cows are only the ones that are causing the environment issues when everything else out there is farting. I got a buddy that farts three times more than a cow ever would.
Speaker 3:I take that back. I apologize. It's not the United States, it's Canada, go figure. Yeah, bc, british Columbia. Ostrich flock ordered killed due to avian flu, received stay of execution. Well, that's good news. So they got a stay of execution. The guy says his birds are healthy. They're not near anything.
Speaker 4:Are you recording now?
Speaker 3:Oh, I haven't stopped. Oh, okay, I've told you, I'm just rolling today, buddy, cool, cool, cool yeah.
Speaker 4:All right. So, yeah, yeah, that's just stupid.
Speaker 3:About 400 ostriches. I was reading that a secluded West Kootenai farm had received a stay of execution despite a Canadian food inspection agency. Or did they be destroyed due to avian flu outbreak?
Speaker 4:I have a question.
Speaker 3:Sure go ahead.
Speaker 4:When someone has 400 ostriches, do they have to have them licensed or do they have a special thing that they have that they have to have?
Speaker 3:Well, I'm sure it's Canada so they're probably going to have their own vet care.
Speaker 4:When this guy was awarded the opportunity to have 400 of these birds, surely he passed all kinds of well-being stuff and I'm sure with Canada they come in and check him. Wonder what kind of threat this guy is to him.
Speaker 3:Two birds had contracted the HSN1 virus, likely from a flock of wild ducks that descended into the property. No other birds have shown or have symptoms.
Speaker 4:It's only yeah, chickens and evidently a duck, yeah.
Speaker 3:They want to kill all our chickens. Well, you know what? That's fine, let us eat them. You can't tell me all them birds have. I think they just jumped the gun and I get it. It's like COVID Take samples. It's like COVID Take samples.
Speaker 4:It's like COVID. Yeah, some people got it.
Speaker 3:It's a government control, it wasn't everything, everybody. Government wants the control. See, that's why people want government. Government's good for a couple things, and then it isn't Okay. What the hell was this? Now we're just looking through some headlines. Uh-oh, uh-oh. There's a lot of things happening. Going back to football.
Speaker 4:Yep, there's more football stuff.
Speaker 3:Eagles handed major blow ahead of Super Bowl. Well, let's see what happened to the Philadelphia Eagles. I'm hoping win. Not my favorite team either, but yeah, I'm pulling for them, I don't know Kansas City's, just I don't know.
Speaker 4:They got that one player.
Speaker 3:Somebody made a good point, and I'll give Mahomes credit on it too, though I don't want to take anything away from his playmaking ability Right, but most of their plays aren't designed. They're all broken. It's like playing football in your backyard, right. Most of their plays aren't designed, they're broken up plays.
Speaker 4:He's either scrambling Right, but think about it, it works. Evidently it works. And then what don't work?
Speaker 3:No, that's what I'm saying.
Speaker 4:I'm not taking away because still he has to make something happen, but my point is I still say if it wasn't for the five guys on that front line that was protecting me.
Speaker 3:Five guys.
Speaker 4:Whatever?
Speaker 3:Burgers, yeah, burgers.
Speaker 4:Yeah, burgers and fries.
Speaker 3:Listen, I like five guys. They have good burgers but the crap of the prices went up on them things. I have number eight there. I think you get like maybe a cheeseburger or bacon cheeseburger or whatever. Someone said they went fries and a drink almost 20 bucks. Now what, wow? Well hey.
Speaker 4:I go to.
Speaker 3:Blue 42 right here in Morganton. Yeah, I pay $12 for a burger, but it's a killer burger.
Speaker 4:That's just like If I'm going to get a burger, I want a good burger. Ruby Tuesdays has a great bacon burger.
Speaker 3:Shout out to Blue 42. Great burgers.
Speaker 4:Ruby Tuesdays has a great bacon burger $10. Yeah.
Speaker 3:There you go.
Speaker 4:Ruby Tuesdays has a great bacon burger Ten bucks, where's that Ruby Tuesdays, lenore.
Speaker 3:I think they have one in.
Speaker 4:Morganton too, do we? I don't know if you do or not you might, they're pretty popular.
Speaker 3:Well, no, I had them in Florida, I had them up in Mass. I just didn't know of any right around this area.
Speaker 4:Tammy and I would sneak away in Kansas when we were out there by ourselves. We'd sneak away at lunchtime.
Speaker 3:You're not in Kansas anymore.
Speaker 4:Oh and by the way, I meant to say some other lady. But anyway, we would sneak off on lunch and we would go to Chuck E Cheese Nope. Ruby Tuesday's and we would go to Ruby Tuesday's and we would get the two for $20. And we'd both eat steak and shrimp or whatever. Two entrees, two sides and drinks for $20.
Speaker 3:No, that's not bad. Eh, not much here.
Speaker 4:So, the news did you not hear the news? Elon musk is a satanist now oh is he?
Speaker 3:yeah, he's everything else, I guess. So what's one more to add to his uh?
Speaker 4:he is going to be the creator of the 666 chip. I guess that's what they're saying, like will they ever stop. Like he's in control of all that, not God, but uh anyway they won't, they won't stop. Nah, they're not.
Speaker 3:Who's this? Uh, Buckeye Chuck, I guess that's not. Uh, the other guy from Pennsylvania. They get their own.
Speaker 4:Well wait a minute, yeah, Pennsylvania, they got their own. Well wait a minute. Yeah, Buckeye Chuck. So it's.
Speaker 3:Just one ground or several ground dogs, he said, the clear spring is coming.
Speaker 4:Well see, I seen on there that some other one said that he saw his shadow.
Speaker 3:That's Pennsylvania.
Speaker 4:Yeah, well, where's this?
Speaker 3:Ohio.
Speaker 4:So who do you believe?
Speaker 3:Well, closer to Ohio, kind of Maybe the same distance. Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 4:What about these other places? Do we have one?
Speaker 3:down here, like in the mountains, do we have something?
Speaker 4:I have a groundhog at the house. I have an old possum that comes up on the porch and tells me when it's time to take my trash away.
Speaker 3:Does he do the weather or spring? Is he a shadow type shit?
Speaker 4:No, he just tells me when it's time to take trash out.
Speaker 3:You sound a little nuffy. Yeah, we're both feeling a little something here. I don't know what it is A little bit.
Speaker 4:I know what it is.
Speaker 3:What the hell is it? It sure has been a while, hasn't?
Speaker 4:it. Yes, it has.
Speaker 3:Sound like a bunch of babbling idiots, so let's see.
Speaker 4:Hey, they still do that.
Speaker 3:Royal Rumble, you mean WWE, is still on.
Speaker 4:Yeah, I didn't know that either. They have wrestling still.
Speaker 3:I guess it's something in Charlotte here.
Speaker 4:Even after people realized it was all fake and rigged and all that Huh Kind of like the NFL People still going to watch it.
Speaker 3:NFL finds two Eagle players, including key weapon Jalen Hurts, before Super Bowl. See, it's already starting, man.
Speaker 4:Yep, and it's not going to quit until the Kansas City Chiefs are carrying the trophy home, because you know, that's what's going to happen.
Speaker 3:I won't be watching that whole thing anyways, I probably won't either, but here's what I hope happens.
Speaker 4:I hope it's just like every other government sting that they are going to go to what's going to make the money.
Speaker 3:Right.
Speaker 4:So everybody's expecting Kansas City to three-peat.
Speaker 3:All right.
Speaker 4:You think that? I think they're going to throw the Super Bowl and the Eagles will win and the payoff will be extreme to the people who went with the Eagles and it's going to. I don't know. I think they're really setting it up for that.
Speaker 3:Well, it just seems weird. I participated in DraftKings at one time. Crap, I still get the damn app. Right but it seems like ever since they were able to just go public pretty much and advertising on the games and stuff, the the games seem pretty funny and I know I'm a Patriot fan, people say, well, yeah, blah, blah, blah, patriot, whatever.
Speaker 4:And it's not only Kansas.
Speaker 3:City.
Speaker 4:When you're watching a football game. It doesn't matter what game you're watching, the refs are missing. Calls like crazy no, this is true. Or they're adding.
Speaker 3:Calls like crazy no, this is true or they're adding calls like crazy. Perfect example of the last game of the season with the Patriots and Buffalo. Buffalo didn't want to win, patriots almost couldn't win and the refs were just doing whatever, just let the game play out, man Don't start calling stupid shit.
Speaker 4:Exactly, exactly. Just let it ride. Here's the other thing If you're in a major game and I'm a ref and I see two guys going at it and a hand goes across the guy's face mask that's not a call.
Speaker 3:Exactly.
Speaker 4:They called that in the Ravens game.
Speaker 3:And they've done that a lot too, just grazing yeah.
Speaker 4:Yeah, 15 yards. That actually turned that ballgame. That turned that ballgame.
Speaker 3:Why isn't it a five-yard penalty?
Speaker 4:Right If it was an accident. Now, when somebody grabs the face mask and jerks, someone to the ground that's different. Oh, here's something else. You got something. It's tax time.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 4:Hey, for all you tax dodgers out there.
Speaker 3:Some cub drivers experienced the madhouse effect that the Bowman Gray during the Clash Heat Races. What's that all about, Tom?
Speaker 4:I don't know. I haven't watched any raisins. Raisins don't actually officially start for me until the Daytona 500. The Super Bowl of raisins. Why did they start that in the very first of the year? Hey look.
Speaker 3:First seniors, aren't we? Let's see what we can get for deals, oh, but often forget to claim Entertainment fees. It's going to be $60. Oh, that's me. Look at that I don't even go to the damn movies. $60 plus. Oh well, that sucks. You can go to a museum, those are always fun.
Speaker 4:Cool, cool.
Speaker 3:I can't even get into the national parks. My auto insurance is cheap anyways. Cool, cool. Oh, I can't even get into the national parks. My auto insurance is cheap anyways.
Speaker 4:Wait, go back to that, because I might need that Auto insurance.
Speaker 3:They're over $45. They're more than $45 a month. How much? $38. Wow, what a pair. We are sneezing coughing.
Speaker 4:Yeah, this is something bud.
Speaker 3:All right, this looks like spam shit. That way of hearing aids, that looks boring as hell.
Speaker 4:That reminded me of a joke. What's the joke? This guy goes to the doctor. He tells the doctor that he can't hear, said I'm having trouble hearing out of my right ear. He said well, do you have hearing aids? He said, yeah, I even wear hearing aids, so I don't understand what the issue is. He said well, let's look. So the doctor looks in his ear. He said ah, see the problem, you have a suppository in his ear. He said ah, see the problem, you have a suppository in your ear. He said ah, well, that's where my hearing aid's at.
Speaker 3:Then when it's not working. Huh, let's see when do we go from here.
Speaker 4:Where's that cheeseburger from Five dollar discount?
Speaker 3:Yeah, that was that, thing, I was just on.
Speaker 4:Oh, okay.
Speaker 3:Well, you know, I didn't go through the whole thing. Right, I should have got to the food part, because that's food.
Speaker 4:Yeah, that was funny, my son. I tasted a little hint of oregano, a little hint of that little girl Right.
Speaker 3:I knew it was him and then he found it that was funny though, that little girl Right, I knew it was him and then he found it. That was funny though, that little kid. You had shown me that before. Yeah, see, I remember that because you said Josh, I said it right to you, Yep, but he is Well between my mother and his mother.
Speaker 4:He got hammered and cooking and baking early. My mom did nothing but cook at a restaurant her whole life.
Speaker 3:Okay.
Speaker 4:And she baked and did all kinds of stuff. Well, she would. Well, josh, if you're bored, let's get up and make a cake. Josh would get up and make a cake with mom. He spent a lot of time with my mom when he was young.
Speaker 3:Look at this. This is telling you how you can win the lottery all the time.
Speaker 4:I know how to win.
Speaker 3:That's why there's so many rich people running around. Yeah, adjustable glasses for any situation.
Speaker 4:Well, wait a minute. I like that idea. Yeah, I need those. My nose is sore from sliding my glasses up and down.
Speaker 3:What the hell? Well, let's just check this out. See what we have here. I'll never, pay for prescription glasses again things that freaking old people get excited over we can see this seems like a lot to look into. Yeah, seems like a lot. I'm looking for the cheap food. Oh, yeah, a lot of hearing aid stuff here we go Cheeseburgers oh it's on coffee and beverages, steak and shake. 50 plus 10%, that's us.
Speaker 4:Wendy's Gotta go to Charlotte to get it 55 plus 10%. That's us. Wendy's Gotta go to Charlotte to get it 55 plus, that's me.
Speaker 3:Denny's.
Speaker 4:Golden Corral is what?
Speaker 3:Variety Varies by location. Perkins 55 plus menu, subway, old Country Buffet Do we even have one of those around here? I've never heard of them. Long John's Huh, what do you know? Yeah, but Long John Silver says no, I'm talking about all these places 55 and over Subway, that's 60, but I don't go to Subway. I don't really go to Subway that's 60, but I don't go to.
Speaker 4:Subway. I don't really go to Subway anymore either.
Speaker 3:I like Chubby's. I don't like a Chubby's, I like.
Speaker 4:Chubby's restaurant. They have a good salad too.
Speaker 3:They have good pizza too, actually.
Speaker 4:With all of it. Yeah, chubby's is decent, shout out, chubby's is decent, shout out Chubby's. You know they're not open on Saturdays.
Speaker 3:I'm starting to hear a little commotion.
Speaker 4:I think the you know please don't tell me, bill and Troy's out there.
Speaker 3:Is that who they're yelling at?
Speaker 4:It might be. Oh, it could be All right.
Speaker 3:Let's take a pause here. We'll go get the little dudes. We'll be right back, we'll be right back.
Speaker 1:You believe those freaking idiots? Yeah, the hell do you think he is? He's gonna find out. What the hell did he say to get you going? He told me to park my car in another spot. But your car is little, yeah, so what difference does it make where I park it? Well, you always kind of park in the way Squeak. Well, I can park where I want to, but that's not the way it goes. They gave you that little spot by the flower bed, oh God, yeah, where all the bugs are. You're still complaining about them. Bugs, yeah, why? Well, because of getting a car. Imagine driving down the road minding your own business. Something's on my neck. We're done, it's all over Over. A damn bug. Well, why don't you, about that, get some kind of repellent. I'm going to do something about it. All right, I'm going to dig up all them damn flowers.
Speaker 1:You know you have problems with things. You hit squirrels. You have a problem with bugs. Listen, I didn't hit the squirrel, the squirrel hit me. Did it, did it, did it Really? Oh, are you sick too, like those other dudes? No, oh, okay, I've never been sick, never, ever, no, except for that one day when I got on the dance floor. You got on the dance floor. Yeah, it was sick. Yeah, no, no, no, that's not what we're talking about. Oh, but you know what I want to talk about? That little problem we had a couple weeks ago. It's been a while since we've been here. Listen, I take a blue pill for that. We ain't going to bring it up, no, more more.
Speaker 1:Don't know what I'm talking about? Those three little bastards from that cereal. Oh, oh, yeah, sorry about that. Yeah, yeah, them bastards. Yeah, you know you were pretty pissed off at the Keebler elves also. Well, yeah, I'm pissed. Well, who, easy, I didn't mean to bring it up. I know it's a sore spot. Yeah, well, it's sore. I'm telling you one thing If it gets any worse, I'm gonna have to go see a wound specialist. Well, don't let it bite. Ya, well, it sure the shit does.
Speaker 1:Three little guys I snap, I crackle, I snap, I crackle, I pop. What the hell's up with that? I don't know why do you need three of them? One can handle all that noise making. They're the most redundant trio since those three tenors yeah, well, that's exactly right, but I don't get.
Speaker 1:Well, this is just really Trying to piss me off. It should Well like their cereal makes noise. Who wants to hear a bunch of damn noise In the morning? Not really a lot of people. Good point, commercial guy with his damn ear down there, I hear it. Boys in the morning? No, not really a lot of people, you get a good point. Yeah, commercial Guy with his damn ear down there at the bowl, I hear it. I hear it. Well, big fucking deal, we all hear it. It's milk here. Oh boy, let's start a series. We invented something, yeah, it'll be.
Speaker 1:And don't get me started on their fashion sense. What those stupid little caps they wear. Are they cereal mascots? Or are they like part-time barbers? Barber, that'd be funny as hell. Well, let me just tell you what they are. What, what are they? They're hiding the sense that they don't have a good barber. All they have Well, that's a big point a good barber on them hats, well, that's a big point by you. Well, yeah, they better wear a hat, because why would you want their hair falling in your damn cereal? Well, nobody really wants that.
Speaker 1:And does anybody eat that at all? That cereal, it's kind of plain, it's like little airy things. Right, there's no sugar, no, nothing, just. Well, wait a minute. They have the frosting. What about the rice cakes? What, those little Rice Krispies cakes? Well, those are good, yeah, but those are good.
Speaker 1:That's not cereal, oh, it's cereal in a dessert form. Okay, well, let's. That's the only way Rice Krispies will taste good. Let me get away, exactly. But you know why else it's good, why Doesn't make any damn noise? Well, when you crunch it it does.
Speaker 1:Well, yeah, snap crack, oop. Oh, what's a oop Gulp Like Well, yeah, snap crackle, oop. Oh, what's a oop Gulp Like swallow? What about those other guys there Don't tell me you're thinking about?
Speaker 1:Well, you know the other ones that you talked about, them tree-hugging elves, yeah, yeah, them guys. Well, I got one word for them. What's that Stupid? What? Why? Well, okay, you ever seen a fudge stripe? Yeah, didn't we discuss this before? That's what started this. Yeah, well, the whole bottom is done right, all chocolate. Oh Well, the whole bottom is done right, all chocolate. Oh, yes, yes, but the top, let's just do a couple lines on it. Well, that's why it strikes. You can get the other ones that have fudge grams, yeah, but now we gotta buy a whole new box of goodies. Well then, don't buy the strikes. If you think they're getting ripped off, don't buy them Get the fudge grams. No, that means I'm doing what they're. They're not going to determine what I eat just because I hear. Ya, it's like they're secretly working for the vacuum cleaner industry, making cookies that are designed to spill everywhere. Sure, you open the. That's why you get the stripes Shit. No, we know what the stripes are.
Speaker 2:They don't really know what they're doing.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we know what the stripes are. You know how they put the stripes on the cookies, how Well they chop it up with a credit card and they line it all up. Real neat, they snortin' it. Well, that's what it symbolizes. That's where the parts are gone.
Speaker 1:Them damn treehuggers snorting, yeah, snorting fudge. I thought you were gonna tell me it's like skid marks on your underwear or something. Well, that's what I think about when I think about fudge. Oh, that's nasty. That doesn't sound appetizing now. Okay, well, then let's go get a bite. I do like the fudgy mint ones they have too. Those are delicious. Okay, well, let's go get a bite of chip. Ahoy, where there's a chip in every bite. Yeah, if you eat the whole fucking cookie, one bite, yeah, because you bite that thing you might get a chip. I think those cookies are pretty much our size. Now there's more chocolate chips in the cookie crisp cereal than there is in a chip-a-hoi cookie.
Speaker 1:You know, it's funny that you mention the stripe thing. It's true. It's like maybe they got bored and thought you know what, let's just dunk half of it in fudge and call it a day, you're right? Well, I don't know. I just know that they're a bunch of idiots. Yeah, laziness, I guess, but I just can't explain it enough. If you're gonna make a cookie, throw it in. Don't just half make a cookie. Right, go all in, don't just half-ass it, right, right, you got chocolate on one side, oh, oh, missed a little bit here, missed a little bit there. Oh, let's call it fudge stripes. No, you're shitting me on the fudge. Yeah, we deserve a fully fudged cookie, true. Well, me own the fudge. Yeah, we deserve a fully fudged cookie, true.
Speaker 1:And then there's the whole issue of that stupid tree. Yeah, what's up with that squeak? Didn't you say that was a fire hazard? Yeah, because they're geniuses. Hey, let's put a bunch of ovens in a fucking wooden tree. There you go. Oh boy, they're not smart at all. Oh jeez man, they're not smart at all. No, and they've got.
Speaker 1:So wait a minute what this is, why there's all these fires happening Because of these little bastards. Yeah, and it's not even a very good cookie Dang, yeah. Why don't they go to no-bake cookies? Well, we can do that, yeah, but it's not very good, no, no, not at all. We don't know what we're doing. Well, we know what we're doing, we just can't do it very well. Yeah, I know exactly how to do it, I just don't do it very well. Hey, you know what I like other things. What's your worst mascot? I know you hate the elves. I know you hate the stupid three amigos, or whatever the hell they are. Let me tell you the worst, which one do you hate, the most.
Speaker 1:The worst mascot. Let's get on your nerves. Okay, this year it's a damn fox on the Kansas City Chiefs sideline, that dumbass running around. Ah, why does that have a fox? I don't know. That's the dumbest damn word. Chiefs, let's have a wolf or a fox, whatever that is. That makes so damn sense. It's like McDonald's with Grimace. What the hell is that Grimace? What the hell is that Grimace? What is that? What is he supposed to be? I don't know. I know what the cheese burglar is, right, I know what the hamburger is.
Speaker 1:And what's the other guy with the striped suit on the striped suit? Wasn't that the guy with the striped suit on the striped suit? Wasn't that the Wearing the prison stripes? That's the Hamburglar. Oh, yeah, and you got Merrick Cheese. Merrick Cheese was the burger. Yeah, that's what it was. Yeah, but what the hell is Grimace? He's a big butt plug. Have you not seen him? Have you not seen this guy? Have you not seen this? He's shaped like a great big butt plug. Yeah, why would they put a butt plug on there? Well, because after you eat their shit, you're going to have a butt plug. Well, that's pretty much self-explanatory. No, ben, where do you want me to go from? Here, I can't tell what they. They put this shit on TV, not me. Anyways, well, I guess that's it. I'm out of here, pie and cranky. I'm going to go back out here and see if I can find this idiot in the parking lot again. Give him a piece of my mind. Well, we'll just wait until next week. We'll figure something out. Until then, keep your cereal quiet and your cookies intact, right Squeak, yeah, cookies. Well, yep, bye, bye.
Speaker 1:What gummies Didn't we do a gummy? Wait, we did a gummy. No, no, no, wait a minute. What did they do? No, wait a minute. Yeah, yeah, we found their gummies. That was funny. It was funny. It's still funny right now.
Speaker 1:Why can't we get out of this room? Well, because of the gummies. The gummies won't let us out. No, no, we can't figure it out. I know there's a door handle here somewhere. What'd you do with it? Well, I'm not sure. Might have put it in a slingshot. Why would you do that? Well, it was part of the system where I was inventing that you shouldn't do that shit while we're doing gummies. Well, the catapult, remember, I was trying to invent the catapult, yeah, and look what happened. Yeah, well, what happened to Troy's car? That was wonderful. He wasn't too happy. You heard him in the damn room when we came in. Yeah, exactly, oh, yeah, you love that shit Late Monday. You ever wonder why I wasn't so pissed off. Is this stupid thing recording us? Still? I hope not. Um, we were supposed to leave. Yeah, well, we can't get out of that damn room. They locked us in. Oh, oh, oh. Yeah, I'm sorry, I had the button turned the wrong way. All right, bye, bye.
Speaker 4:Bye oh boy, wow them too, I tell you what it's something else.
Speaker 3:It's been a while too.
Speaker 4:Yeah, and the thing about it is, I enjoy it so much because you don't ever know what is going to come out.
Speaker 3:Nope, grimace, fuck plug, grimace. You know, I'll never see that, I'll never see that the same again.
Speaker 4:That's squeak man, it's something else. And what's he? How can he? Why did that go there? Why is his mind on that?
Speaker 3:I have no idea, I would have never, I'd never even seen that In his defense Pip did ask him what his the one he hated the most. But we have to discuss the little incident Before they came in With Troy.
Speaker 4:They're a little hot still. That's been way back in the summer. We have to discuss the little incident before they came in with Troy.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, Troy. Woo-hoo, they're a little hot still. That's been way back in the summer. That still hasn't boiled. It's getting ready to boil over even more.
Speaker 4:Yeah, well, because we're going to have Troy over more Yep, he's going to be doing some things for us.
Speaker 3:Right.
Speaker 4:Yeah.
Speaker 3:But I'm not going to look at Rice Krispies the same again either, so no. Or any Kiva Ralph cookie.
Speaker 4:I probably won't even buy a Kiva Ralph cookie after that.
Speaker 3:Well, hey, I guess they crumble and shit anyways or whatever.
Speaker 4:I don't have a good vacuum cleaner anyway.
Speaker 3:No, no, no, but they make some good Squeaks, makes some good points as a forest, you know.
Speaker 4:Yeah, why would you have they got?
Speaker 3:ovens in trees.
Speaker 4:Yeah, why would you have an oven in a tree?
Speaker 3:What an idea. In a cave that makes sense. Yeah, no, shut them, boys, in a cave. Let's put this in a tree and make cookies, and we don't even fudge them all.
Speaker 4:No.
Speaker 3:Anyways, that was entertaining this time, yeah that was kind of good Good to hear from them again like this time. And what is that fox thing that dances around in the end zone at Kansas City Games? No, I have no idea what that is. How does that represent? I don't know what happened to. What the hell was the name? The mascot, wasn't it like? Let me look that up, yeah.
Speaker 2:They had a mascot.
Speaker 3:It was a guy in a headdress. Chiefs introduced their first mascot in 1963, a pinto-colored horse named Warpaint, and there went live animal mascots for the NFL. Warpaint quickly became a symbol of the franchise and there was a guy that wrote it. And stuff franchise and there was a guy that wrote it.
Speaker 4:So they stole their idea from Denver, where Denver rides Thunder across the field.
Speaker 3:No, this was a guy, though, with headdress and everything. It was an Indian, yeah, 1963.
Speaker 4:Wow.
Speaker 3:How racist can you get Written?
Speaker 4:by. This is a pretty good Indian name, bob Johnson yeah well, I don't mean to laugh people, but that's ridiculous.
Speaker 3:Who Wore an American Indian headdress inspired by the team's logo? The horse would gallop around the field, energize the crowd and celebrating the Chiefs' triumph.
Speaker 4:I'm telling you, kansas City's crooked all the way around, all the way down to their dam. There he is. Yeah, I see Fake Indians.
Speaker 3:Wait a minute though.
Speaker 4:Impersonating an Indian? That would be a shame, Rob. Well, wait a minute though. Impersonating an Indian? That would be a shame. Rob Johnson looks pretty Indian. Yeah, way up there.
Speaker 3:Well, it's fine. See, how do you believe shit like that? Because it's a picture of it right there. He's above the stadium.
Speaker 4:Yeah, he is Okay. Today's picture is brought to you by Bob Bob Johnson. Yeah, he is Okay. Today's picture is brought to you by Bob Bob Johnson.
Speaker 3:Yeah on Warpaint.
Speaker 4:Now you get it. No, I'm not really See.
Speaker 3:here's another one. He's kind of like in the sky over the stadium. See, there's two pictures now. That was yeah, alright then, so it must be true. What are we going to bring about next week?
Speaker 4:I don't know. There's still so much going on.
Speaker 3:There is so much going on to catch up, or I'm sorry it won't be next week, Wow.
Speaker 4:Right.
Speaker 3:Tom and I got a lot going on right now, work-wise and everything, but anyways, we like to connect with y'all, so we're going to do this bi-weekly seems to work right now and that'll help us at least put some content out and I think the upcoming episode we will be talking about addiction.
Speaker 3:I won't be the next episode, but I'm pretty sure the episode out there yeah coming up soon a lot of you might not know, I've lost a daughter To addiction About 10 years ago and anyways, just a lot of stuff on my mind I like to talk about. It's been that way for a while and I think it'd just be best for me to get it off, but that's one of the topics we will be talking about.
Speaker 4:Anyways, tom, be sure and tune in and let's Hear some strengths about what we learned.
Speaker 3:Give a heads up on that when it does come out, then we'll let you know when the plan is on that Want to make sure that one's done right, because it means a lot to me.
Speaker 4:As it should.
Speaker 3:And let's see what else there's so much news to talk about.
Speaker 4:Yeah, there's so many things going on.
Speaker 3:I do want to add this time all of the platforms Were on pretty much. You can listen To us on our official website. That's mtalpodcom. That's our official website. Go check it out. You can listen to our podcast. You can actually leave a voicemail there. There's a little microphone on the bottom right. Click on that. Don't know who you are? Doesn't have't know who you are. Doesn't have to say who you are.
Speaker 4:You don't have to say your name, just tell us how you feel about the podcast We'd like to know where you're from.
Speaker 3:Doesn't have to be a precise location A state would be fine.
Speaker 4:If you're pretty iHeartRadio.
Speaker 3:We're on that platform right. Amazon Music Podcast, addict Player FM Spotify Again, our website. That's kind of important. We do want to push that because we're going to add some stuff to that coming up this year. Anything else you want to add to that part of it, tom?
Speaker 4:This year's a new year, new year.
Speaker 3:We strive to get better at this. Again, it's fun for us. This is just an outlet for us.
Speaker 4:This is just an outlet for us, pretty much thank you for the people who have listened yeah, we do appreciate you all the time and we've got people who listen every single week and we do appreciate that some of the weirdest places for some reason, but anyways we don't even know people in these places, but that's what we're shooting for is to reach people we don't know let us know, know, let us know what you'd like to hear. All you people who know us, know we're strange.
Speaker 3:We do fly by the seat of our pants, but if there is topics that we're interested in, we do like to discuss it. If we're wrong on something, correct us too, no doubt. Anyways, tom, it's been great, it has been fun, it's been good getting back on here. It feels good Getting back together and doing this thing, but we both kind of had some crud going on in our chest and head and everybody else Sounded a little, sick Sounded a little different, so we might sound a little bit funny today.
Speaker 4:But anyway, we do appreciate it for everybody listening and, as always, we thank God for the gift of Gab Yep.
Speaker 3:And until next time. Everyone take care, and God bless.
Speaker 2:Well, that's it for another wildly uplifting episode of MT Alternative, where we take the hard-hitting topics, throw in some questionable jokes and hope you walk away a little more informed or at least mildly entertained. As always, our esteemed hosts Mike and Tom have graced us with their deep insights, their unparalleled wit and their ability to turn even the heaviest subjects into well. Whatever this was, if you somehow enjoyed this, you can follow us wherever you get your podcasts, because clearly you enjoy making bold life choices. And if you didn't, well, you're still here. So joke's on you. Join us next time when Mike and Tom will be back to tackle yet another topic that'll either make you think or just shake your head in disbelief. Until then, be safe, be skeptical and remember reality is just a poorly written sitcom. Good night you.
